Yeontan Takes A Bath
by lydiak10
Summary: Yeontan was naturally a good dog, but he was a little mischievous from time to time. Especially when it came to evading Taehyung's attempts to get him to take a bath. Parody of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Gary Takes A Bath". Full of fluff (pun intended), humor, and old school BTS references.


**Yeontan Takes A Bath**

Yeontan had spent the majority of the day visiting his owner Kim Taehyung and the rest of the BTS members while they were doing a photo shoot. And now, Taehyung was playing with his little dog in their dorm.

Taehyung looked up and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 5:00pm.

"Tan-ah!" he said cheerfully. "It's that time of the week again: bath time!"

Yeontan's little ears perked up in alarm at those two words. _Bath. Time._ The little teacup Pomeranian had always disliked taking baths, and honestly, more than once, he had found ways to evade the bathtub just to test his owner's patience. Yeontan was naturally a good dog, but he was a little mischievous from time to time.

Taehyung stood up and headed towards the bathroom. "Come on, let's get the water started." When he noticed his little furry companion wasn't next to him, he came back to where Yeontan was staying put. "You're going to have to get in that tub, Tan-ah."

No response.

"Yeontan, we could do this the easy way or the hard way. Or the medium way."

Yeontan still didn't budge.

Taehyung squinted his eyes. "So that's how you want to play it, huh?"

* * *

"Tan-ah! Check out this new toy!" Taehyung showed Yeontan a newly bought pet ball. He threw it in the direction of the open bathroom door. "Fetch!"

Just as Yeontan started to follow the ball, the ball hit the floor and bounced back towards Taehyung's direction, hitting him square in the face. Taehyung tried a couple more times to throw the ball towards the bathroom, but every time he did, the ball would just bounce back and forth in different directions, confusing Yeontan. Curious as to why this was happening, Taehyung read the label on the packaging box.

"New! Super Bounce Pet Ball! Really Works!"

Taehyung sighed; he was going to have to try something else.

* * *

"Tan-ah! There's a bomb strapped to my chest! It's going to explode in three seconds unless you take a bath!"

Yeontan didn't move.

3….2….

"...Please?"

….1.

No explosion.

Taehyung actually didn't strap a bomb to himself; he just used a roll of duct tape around his chest and set his phone to a timer to make it look somewhat convincing. Alas, Yeontan was not convinced.

* * *

Taehyung now had Yeontan in his lap. Since he had already demonstrated his ability to wake up his fellow BTS members using only a hoola hoop, he thought of himself possessing some psychic powers. He thought some psychic communication to Yeontan would work.

He waved his hands over Yeontan, letting the "magic" do its work. "I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages."

A bathtub.

A shower faucet running.

A bottle of dog shampoo.

Namjoon's 2013 toothbrush hair and sunglasses.

Taehyung suddenly snapped out of his trance and looked back at his pet, somewhat embarrassed and disturbed.

"...Sorry you had to see that."

* * *

"I've got a nice three dollar chain for the next guy I know to take a bath!" Taehyung told Yeontan, showing him a chain necklace in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Taehyung went to open it and there stood Yoongi in the doorway. He was wearing a tank top and shorts and his hair was wet.

"I just got out of the bath," he said bluntly before taking the chain from a puzzled Taehyung, turning around, and shutting the door behind him.

* * *

"_Did you see my bag? Did you see my bag? _

_It's hella trophies and it's hella thick._

_What you think 'bout that? What you think 'bout that? _

_I bet it got my haters hella sick."_

Taehyung had just finished doing the "Mic Drop" choreography, hoping a little dancing would motivate Yeontan to get in the bath. But the little dog still sat there after watching his owner do the whole thing.

"...That didn't work either, huh?"

* * *

About twenty minutes later, Yeontan was approached by his owner who was holding a rolled up piece of paper.

"Tannie! Look what I found! It's an old pirate treasure map revealing the location of buried pirate treasure in this very dorm!" He showed his pet the "map" complete with a couple notes scribbled in and a dotted trail leading a red "X" drawn on the other side of the paper. "Move 40 paces to the left," he read. "Come on! Let's go get that treasure!" he exclaimed cheerfully. He began counting the steps he took towards the bathroom door while Yeontan scampered along behind him.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,..."

* * *

"...24, 25, 26, 27…."

Taehyung paused at 27 when he saw that he was already at the closed bathroom door. With the last step, he just decided to skip to the end. "...40." He turned to Yeontan. "The treasure must be in here." He opened the door and pretended to be amazed. "Wow! Yeontan, look! A pirate treasure chest!"

Yeontan barked suspiciously.

"No, this isn't the bathtub," Taehyung said, kicking aside the paper and markers he used to make the sign taped to the bathtub that read "_Treasure Chest"_. "It's treasure!" He picked up his little dog and showed him the "treasure". A loofa, a bottle of dog shampoo, and a squeaky bath toy rested in the tub filled with three inches of water.

"Look at this brooch!" Taehyung exclaimed enthusiastically as he picked up the squeaky toy to show Yeontan.

Yeontan barked again.

"I don't _know _what a dog would want to do with a brooch!" said Taehyung, growing a bit impatient. "Now just get in the tub!" He tried to place Yeontan in the bathtub, but the little dog wiggled out of his grip. Whenever Taehyung managed to catch him, Yeontan would wiggle his way out again. After a few attempts, Yeontan had managed to wiggle so much that Taehyung had managed to fall into the bathtub himself. Knowing he had won the fight, Yeontan trotted back into the main room.

Taehyung sat up in the bathtub, his backside soaking wet. Now he was thoroughly irritated; that little dog had duped and/or frustrated him for the last time! Suddenly, an idea came to him: if he couldn't get Yeontan into the bath, he was going to have to bring the bath to Yeontan.

* * *

The sun was beginning to set. Taehyung waited anxiously behind the open back door of the building with a trail of dog treats leading outside. He held the nozzle of a hose he had in his hands; he had borrowed it from the gardener's closet. He wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, for fear that he might end up getting in trouble.

Just then, he heard the faint pitter-patter of little paws and occasional crunching coming closer. As soon as Yeontan came into view, he jumped out of his hiding spot, aimed the hose at the dog, and grinned.

"Bath delivery!"

Startled and knowing full well what his owner was intending to do, Yeontan scurried away, making Taehyung miss the first shot. Taehyung sprayed again at the running dog, but once again, he missed. Everytime Taehyung sprayed water at his furry target, Yeontan would dodge it.

"'Water' you waiting for, Tannie?" Taehyung called out playfully, making a sort of dad joke that Seokjin would be proud of.

After a few more missed shots, Taehyung had the idea to get higher to get a better shot. He went over to a tree next to the building, climbed up, and perched himself on a branch with a good view of the small dog.

"It's time to clean up your act, Yeontan!" he called out (Another Seokjin dad joke.), aiming the hose in Yeontan's direction once more. But doing this suddenly made his balance waver, and Taehyung yelped as he grabbed onto an overhead branch to steady himself, making him drop the hose in the process. After that close call, he was starting to get a little scared from up in the tree. A small bark came from below and Taehyung glanced down at Yeontan, who was looking up at him from the ground.

Now Taehyung was fed up, he was tired, and he was scared; all he wanted was to get Yeontan to take a bath and it lead to him taking the gardener's hose, making a wet mess in the yard, and being stuck in a tree. All he could manage was an exasperated whine. "Yeontan!"

He watched as Yeontan suddenly turned around and scurried a little bit away from him.

"What are you doing?"

Then Taehyung saw what Yeontan was planning to do. There was a big mud puddle a few feet away from the tree and Yeontan was scurrying right towards it.

"Kim Yeontan, don't you go near that mud puddle!" Taehyung called out in a father-like tone. "I'm counting to 3! 1…."

Yeontan inched closer.

"2…."

Yeontan raised one tiny paw over the mud, as if to tease his owner.

"Don't make me say '3'!"

Just then, there was the sound of someone coming outside and Yeontan put his paw down and started barking. Taehyung feared it was the gardener or Mr. Bang Si hyuk and he shut his eyes, bracing himself for punishment.

"Taehyung! Where are you? Seokjin says dinner is ready!"

That voice didn't sound like Mr. Bang or the gardener. When he opened his eyes, he was relieved to see Jungkook standing below him.

"Jungkook!"

Jungkook looked up and was surprised to see his fellow member in the tree. "What are you doing up there?"

"Yeontan has to take a bath, but he's being stubborn," Taehyung whined.

Jungkook glanced down at the small dog, who was looking up at him with his big black eyes, as if trying to convince the maknae of his innocence. But Jungkook knew better; he was aware of the little dog's acts of mischief in the time BTS had spent with him. Still, he couldn't help but be amused at the idea of the dog hilariously evading his owner's attempts all evening.

"Hey, you should know better than to bully your daddy," Jungkook gently reprimanded him. He looked up at Taehyung. "Was he bullying you, Taehyungie?" he teased, chuckling.

Taehyung pouted. "Jungkook, this isn't funny! Won't you help me out, please?"

Jungkook hesitated a bit before saying, "Alright, I'll help you. Come on down and we'll bathe him after dinner."

"Can you help me get down first?"

"It's not even that high! Just jump down!"

"I can't!" Taehyung clung tighter to tree.

Jungkook sighed and held out his arms. "Jump down. I'll catch you."

Taehyung raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I'm serious! C'mon, jump!"

"...Okay."

"Try not to break my arms."

Taehyung took a deep breath and positioned himself to jump.

"1….2….3!"

Taehyung leapt off of the tree and slammed right into Jungkook. The force of impact caused the two to fall backwards onto the ground...right into the big mud puddle.

* * *

Namjoon had ordered the two youngest members to clean themselves up after they had come back inside and explained what had happened. So now a mud covered Jungkook was standing by the bathroom door with Yeontan, waiting for Taehyung to be done in the bath.

Yeontan barked.

"Yeah, yeah, Tan-ah. I'm getting behind my ears," Taehyung's voice came from behind the closed bathroom door.

Jungkook knelt down and gave Yeontan a little scratch. Kim Yeontan had won the battle for now; they would just have to hatch a plan to bathe him tomorrow. The little dog may have been a bit mischievous, but he was still well loved.

The End


End file.
